Surrealist Funeral

eyes on artist children’s poles,

disabled flying dark condemns dust

into wandering by lonely sky

—altitude rises, the sun worms

becomes odd

the saecula, fallen away, hangs

the rush wail golden, clouds supersonic

driving rainbow by rush moonlit blessing

obtain enter wail, clear flawless

becomes earth, descended

the deafening mourners impudent

though tears not a coffin cloud

his artist’s torrential maiden

a naked drifting fog

distorted sky heart though wilderness watch

from earth sadness ceasing

pulled down through saeculorum

goddess striking time

lifeless earth lonely

than heart in thunderbolt

stratosphere, blasphemous, melted failing

hastens mind

leaves body



*Based on text of “Funeral of a Surrealist” by Su Ben, then cut up using Cut Up Machine, then edited and rearranged

** Photo Credit

101 Excuses

1. Because wine
2. Because I said so
3. Because I love you
4. Because I hate you
5. Because my mother made me
6. Because friends don’t let friends drive drunk
7. Because peer pressure
8. Because I’m broke
9. Because I’m sad
10. Because it’s raining
11. Because I’m tired
12. Because I have a headache
13. Because poetry is hard
14. Because it’s cold
15. Because Obama
16. Because life sucks
17. Because life is awesome
18. Because I need it
19. Because I want it
20. Because I have to have it
21. Because I’m sorry
22. Because it’s late
23. Because I’m late
24. Because it’s yours
25. Because we’re done
26. Because lame
27. Because looking at the sun causes blindness
28. Because it’s national vomit day
29. Because you’re weird
30. Because I’m unique
31. Because I have to
32. Because I want to
33. Because I need to
34. Because heartbreak
35. Because snow days
36. Because I’m bored
37. Because bilingualism
38. Because it’s time to go
39. Because procrastination
40. Because clichés are so last century
41. Because I’m stalking you
42. Because I’m afraid
43. Because I can’t
44. Because I won’t
45. Because you saw me
46. Because you left
47. Because I was switched at birth
48. Because I have to go to work
49. Because I have to stay home
50. Because global warming
51. Because climate change
52. Because polar ice caps
53. Because Jesus is my co-pilot
54. Because lactose intolerance
55. Because Ebola
56. Because bacon
57. Because I got high
58. Because the Internet
59. Because I can
60. Because you are mine
61. Because I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
62. Because then the terrorists win
63. Because America
64. Because free speech
65. Because homosexuality is a sin
66. Because homosexuality is population control
67. Because who cares?
68. Because it’s natural
69. Because I can’t stop
70. Because history proves it
71. Because science says so
72. Because the repubs are racists
73. Because Bill Nye the Science Guy
74. Because water expands when it freezes
75. Because it’s none of your business
76. Because you need help
77. BECAUSE YELLING
78. Because everyone poops
79. Because you’re cat’s an asshole
80. Because I need a drink
81. Because you’re prettier when I’m drunk
82. Because that’s mean
83. Because I didn’t mean it
84. Because yes you did
85. Because don’t be so sensitive
86. Because doors slam
87. Because windows open
88. Because feelings get hurt
89. Because you can’t handle the truth
90. Because you can’t fix ugly
91. Because your prettier on the inside
92. Because the heart is a muscle
93. Because it’s outside the box
94. Because no pain, no gain
95. Because it’s outside the box
96. Because be kind and rewind
97. Because it’s all about the bass
98. Because you’re beautiful
99. Because we are family
100. Because Karma
101. Because

Annoying Diabetic Bitch - Now with 30% more rapey-ness!!

Don't get me wrong, I like a good dirty joke as much as the next gal, and I do get with flarf your primary tool is what you find on the Internet (and as is evidenced here, 99% of all people on the net are super gross) - but why does it all have to be about rape and vaginas? Seriously, things can be funny/flarfy without having to include all that, at least not all the time.

The poems I did enjoy, however, usually included references I recognized (Start Trek, celebs, etc.) or interesting juxtapositions of terminology, such as including Marshall MacLuhan and Marilyn Manson in "Fetish Model Life Partner"

The biblical strategy for choosing a fetish model life partner
is to seek Jesus in prayer.
You just need to be ready for His direction.
You must abide in Him.
Then again it may be easier
if you could find a dolphin with a foot fetish,
and make him into Jesus’s personal sex slave.
Then again, this begs a question:
what would the Jesus I know do,
when confronted by Fetish Model Life Partner Jesus?
Would he fight him?
Then again, "anyone who tries to make a distinction
between education and entertainment
doesn't know the first thing about either" —
Marshall MacLuhan.
Then again, all I want is to be Jesus
at the Fetish Model Easter Party.
First I'm laid out on a pink marble slab,
with only a wisp of loincloth about me,
and then my fetish model life partner,
who is Jesus,
and sounds like a flock of geese passing gas over Brooklyn,
chokes me until I begin to worship football equipment.
Then he helps me with my pig training.
I am the writer/fetish model/cultural historian wife
of Marilyn Manson.
I am sinewy with an elk fetish hole cover
and the restlessness of Adlai Stevenson
who carried on a messy pussy blowjob affair
with farm animals despite pubic lice.
I am Corn, the famous Italian fetish model,
a 5 ' 10 " metal vocalist/student-goth,
with long dark blonde hair and blue green eyes .
Im curvy and told that Im very pretty.
Fetish model pretty I guess . . .
but whatever.
I heard that Fetish Model Life Partner Jesus
had a dream girl for several thousand years
and a tampon fetish.
Does that make him a filthy commie?
I sincerely hope not.

There's some crazy imagery going on here - she's Jesus, but her partner is Jesus (who sounds like geese passing gas - now there's something) chokes her and helps her with pig training (if you read her blog there's an interesting story about a neighbor's pet pig, wonder if it came from there?). Throughout the poem there are a lot of recurring themes: Jesus, animals, fetishes, religion/ideology. This use of theme gives the poem a more cohesive form than other flarfs I've read which are basically just a bunch of random search strings pulled together so it definitely captured and held my attention as I wanted to see where it would go.

Other than a few other poems and a few snippets of parts of poems I admit I don't get it - using flarf to find something interesting/different to write about makes sense, but to me a whole book of flarf doesn't make sense, or maybe it just makes me sad to have this small window into humanity and find out what they really think is important. Namely, undergarments, sex(duh), rape, and Paris Hilton. We're doomed.

Popculture Genocide

This is not a self-portrait, I do not actually
look like this...okay, Devon?

(my attempt at My Life type stream of consciousness, with a bit of humor - because we all need humor)

Innocence killed by girl in red dress, shame a popcorn trial weighed by syrupy desolation of massacres. Longing for days of little people and yellow brick roads, morality a compass. But frankness earns no friends, scorn worn a lion's mantle (out of the eater came forth meat out of the strong came forth sweetness). I am the eater, all consuming burning destroying a one-woman Armageddon. Saved before credits role by secret government project; genetically-spliced-polar-bears or carbon-consuming-killer-bees, why can't mosquitos eat Ebola? Worry about earthquake zippers while gossiping on the latest Brangelina adoption. My doomsday bunker stocked with powdered milk, lactose intolerant so literally shitting to death, waiting for Terminator-esque rescue, helicopter blades skimming while acid rain eats the forests. Success is keeping a plant alive, but either meaning is fruit matter.

Jen Currin's "The Ends"

I enjoyed how Jen takes a look at mundane things - riding in a truck, an interview, writing - and incorporates them into a cohesive mosaic of a person's life. Rather than trying to strive for extraordinary events, she helps the reader feel more connected, as if they are friends sharing everyday stories over a cup of coffee.

"Black-Purple" was one poem that stood out for me, as the second line "Of course every tree / is half-human, which is why / their cries disturb us" gave me chills - what if trees are half-human? What does that make us, murderers? The overall imagery of the poem, with trees crying, being lost, people as trees, gives us an interesting view of peoples as being part of nature, rather than the common view of humanity as something seperate or superior.

There was also this interesting connection of colors and objects or ideas throughout the poems:

bruise / ice / dusk / blue / tree / purple / shadows / moon

The use of colors helped to spark the imagination - almost like you could "see" the poem, rather than just read it. Jen connects colors and concrete imagery, but in a way that is unique (red grass / purple trees) as well as combining this imagery in an unorthadox way: "my mother was once a tree...the road is a scarf." It made me think more deeply about the poem and what the author was trying to say, rather than skimming and moving on.

w(h)ine

arguing the value of adultery

as if determining the

placement of a comma

Feeling pride in mediocrity

The uniqueness of

overscheduling

Scathing jealousy between

working or raising

Planning unwanted vacations

to prove prosperity

The sacrifice of self for

a whole unknown

Terrified of failure

impending loneliness

holding onto tiny fingers

pulling from grasp

Pride in ageing

underneath creams and botox

Sipping red wine

lusting for cool sheets

Bemoaning the cost of gas

in the face of genocide

Each thought one

step closer

to

Arg

I can't find my goddamned keys,
the kids are screaming for
McDonalds. They don't even
like the food, just the toys.
They're eating sawdust for
cheap Chinese plastic.
My dog eats organic,
gluten-free while I
consume my weight in
trans fats and punsish with
cayenne-pepper water
and semi-starvation.
Eschewing public events
for Facebook updates, 500
friends and counting but
no one I actually would
recognize on the street.
Hobbies are a luxury,
free time is guilt.
If a clean home is a castle
then we live in a slum
but I can't summon the
energy to change the vacuum
cleaner bag or find something
for dinner.

My Life: Lyn Hejinian

http://epc.buffalo.edu/authors/hejinian/mylife/

First, would a few line breaks be so hard? The format makes the poems terribly hard to read, which detracts from the experience.

I found the poems to be disconnected - I couldn't find a theme from one thought to the next. For example, here is an excerpt from As for we who "love to be astonished"

You spill the sugar when you lift the spoon. My father had filled an old apothecary jar with what he called "sea glass," bits of old bottles rounded and textured by the sea, so abundant on beaches. There is no solitude. It buries itself in veracity. It is as if one splashed in the water lost by one's tears. My mother had climbed into the garbage can in order to stamp down the accumulated trash, but the can was knocked off balance, and when she fell she broke her arm. She could only give a little shrug. The family had little money but plenty of food.

Sooo...sugar, then a jar with sea glass, and her mother climbing in the garbage can, then no money. It sounds like random musings. Maybe I connect poetry too much with prose, expecting it all to be about the same thing, or maybe I just can see the connection but there is one.

Baby Haiku

Writing poetry
Is like having a baby
Create, birth, then disappointment

Moodle Rant

I log in, it freezes
sends 5 emails instead of one
takes me 10 minutes to
find my schedule
Dear Moodle, I hate you.

Chair Haiku

It is hard to sit
On the hard black plastic chairs
In poetry class