Two people, one on a computer, one in a comfortable chair reading a book.
A: Kennedy was a speed reader, did you know?
B: Yes, and Hitler was a communist.
A: He was lying for Jesus.
A: I keep dreaming of people getting attacked by squirrels
B: Crazy squirrels, but not as bad as coyotes in cars or stories about wrestling action figures.
A: I keep dreaming of people getting attacked by squirrels
B: Crazy squirrels, but not as bad as coyotes in cars or stories about wrestling action figures.
A: What do woodpeckers want?
B: Probably the same thing as marmoset babies - vanilla ice facts.
A: What did you get up to today?
B: I couldn't afford a vacation in Mexico, so I watched the Spanish channel all day and ate some undercooked chicken.
A: That's the food Satan eats, along with tuba video game theme music.
B: Ugh, that's worse than veins in bananas after microwaving
A: Where can I buy lemonade flavored crystal meth?
B: Get the fuck off my phone Steve
A: Tell them other bitches funny songs. I’m the one dumb as a 62 ounce slurpee drink.
B: Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be...
A: Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
B: What's a positive meaning of ‘he doesn’t look like a serial killer'?
A: Is that what happened to Lou Diamond Phillips?
B: No, it was goat shoes and real godzilla sightings.
A: Funny, I thought it was a tentacle pregnancy egg.
B: That might be why my left buttcheek bigger than than the rights buttcheek, since the number of wrinkles on forehead equals number of inches of penis.
A: Elves are assholes.
B: That's a crafty unicorn made out of real hair, next to the taxidermy monkeys for sale.
A: I've always wondered, why do blueberry unicorns cross the milk chocolate river when they could just fly to the other side?
A: They're carrying a book with an immigrant and an armadillo.
B: I dreamed unicorns coming out my fingernails, having nightmares about Morgan Freeman?
A: Not my fault your ugly. [intentional mispelling]
B: Aliens gave my cat a beard.
A: You mean I’m not a reptile. I think my imaginary house is being recycled.
B: That's accidental lesbian in an elderly miniskirt.
A: Midgets that are tired of being hit on need a mouse riding on octopus.
B: Shhh... I'm trying to find zombie chicken porn.
A: Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now.
A: I’m nuts about you, scrotum.
I really enjoyed reading this! It was funny, I think you've got a talent for flarfing!
ReplyDelete-Raeanne
Hey Angela! This poem is hilarious, and totally random. It sounds like two people easily distracted having conversations with themselves while sitting across from each other -- something similar to two insane patients sitting across from each other in a a mental institution. I loved the visualization!
ReplyDeleteHey Angela! This poem is hilarious, and totally random. It sounds like two people easily distracted having conversations with themselves while sitting across from each other -- something similar to two insane patients sitting across from each other in a a mental institution. I loved the visualization!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you tried to embrace flarfing, Angela. I'm curious if you tried to do it the same way we were talking about in class — taking from other places to create — or if you were writing normally, or steam of consciousness.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! To answer your Q, Daymian, there's no way I could have come up with this on my own. I started by compiling a list of "weird Google search terms" - people often post a list on their blogs on how people got there. Then I tried to put them in some kind of logical order and fixed them up so they at least sounded like English.
ReplyDelete