Monday, February 16, 2015

I.Y.L.M (really rough draft)

If you loved me...
you'd put down the
fucking toilet seat
seriously, just once
please

If you loved me...
you'd know all the things
I hate, like
being breathed on,
utensils scraping plates,
or anything licorice

If you loved me...
you'd write me a story
about a teenaged reanimated corpse
lovelorn, shopping for
a grad dress, but her
appendages keep
falling off.
It would be a
ZomComPromRomDram

If you loved me...
you'd stop trying
to change me
and remember
what you fell
in love with

If you loved me...
you'd stay
no matter what

If you loved me...
you'd go
so at least
one of
us was
happy

[oops - that took a bit of a turn at the end there :( sorry! ]

4 comments:

  1. I like this. raw feeling. In some long term relationships there are times when I want to scream this.
    I like how it builds from annoyance, likes, nice gestures, respect dedication to deep down serious true happiness. Do not be sorry I think the end adds depth and a little shock factor.

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  2. Wow, I read the first stanza and I totally thought it was going to keep talking about little things, and at the end it kind of broke my heart. It's really beautifully written!

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  3. Love this! I think you've given it just enough personality to make it truly unique. relationships can be a tricky thing, and more often than not, they don't work out. I think you captured the whole love and loss thing perfectly.

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  4. Love this! I think you've given it just enough personality to make it truly unique. relationships can be a tricky thing, and more often than not, they don't work out. I think you captured the whole love and loss thing perfectly.

    ReplyDelete